It is commonly understood that a surrogate mother is the one that is hired to bring a child to term which she then turns over to someone else and in this case surrogate means substitute and mother is defined as the one that gives birth to the baby, hence the birth of the ugly side of surrogacy.
Does it not then seem that the surrogate mom would be a person that has no real genetic contribution to make? This just may be the ugly side of surrogacy as the embryo itself is actually surrendered to her and then she takes the place of mom. The one giving up the embryo is a real mother, not a surrogate in any type of form. Consider the fact that even though the mother makes the larger contribution to the birth of a child a baby is still considered illegitimate if mom is not legally married to the father. The fact is that surrogacy denies even recognizing the woman’s biological contribution to the child.
The ugly side of surrogacy came about when it began to become a huge business by involving money, no longer considered an altruistic act of one woman trying to help a woman that was unable to bear a child due to biological problems. It now involves attorneys, contracts, anonymous individuals and highly compensated go-between. Surrogacy has been likened to “baby selling” and surrogate referred to as “whores”. It is seen as a type of exploitation of women for the benefit that only want to be sure that the baby will have their genes.
Many feel that surrogacy means that a man actually purchases the rights of another man and some act poorly to what they perceive as an encroachment on their rights. Often woman’s time who undergo a surrogacy process say that while their partners were initially agreeable they will often change their entire attitudes as the women take on their new roles.
The ugly side of surrogacy rears its head again as children will often times become victims as well; they may be tormented and teases by their classmates and others. This means that a surrogate has to how to explain this pregnancy to their children so they have a better understanding, especially if they are very young, in the hopes that it will be easier for them and not cause any kind of resentment.
Some feel that surrogacy turns what is a normal biological event in a woman’s life into a commercial contract since it is an advertised service where people are “recruited” and agencies make money. Commercialism is seen as the ugly side of surrogacy raising fears of baby selling on the black market. There is a fear of what is called breeding farms turning lower income women into nothing more than baby producers and brings about the chance of selective breeding at a cost. Surrogacy can be seen as degrading pregnancy down to a mere service and the baby to a mere product.